Dear Wife by Amanda Davison

Guest posts offer a fresh perspective and new resources. Personally, this post is a special treat because Amanda is one of my favorite people. I met Amanda about 5 years ago at a conference. Her enthusiasm is contagious. Her message is genuine because she’s lived it. Recently, I had the opportunity to sit down with her and talk to her about her new book, Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband.

Here are the questions and her responses:

What are the biggest pitfalls you see in marriage?

The slow drift. I see countless couples who wonder how they got to this place of disconnect - feeling more like friends than intimate partners. Couples are slowly moving apart as a a result of day-to-day lack of intentionality. Not always, but it is usually due to the busyness of everyday life. Schedules get filled with activities, groups, and volunteer time. Nights at home are occupied with homework help, catching up on details of the day, preparing for the next day, and relaxing for a few minutes before you start the next day. Our time is the most important commodity, and generations past have not needed to protect their time like we now need to. Intentionality in how we spend our time is a must to a thriving marriage. It doesn’t have to be week-long romantic getaways or even date nights - yet finding moments in the every day for alone time to connect goes a long way. It’s the discipline to choose your spouse over what is grabbing for your attention or time. Your kids, your phones, other people, or Netflix. Face-to-face time connecting is what sets thriving marriages apart from those that are married but feel like roommates.

Also, the ‘me’ mentality. We’re living in a world that applauds our own happiness and independence over selfless love for a long-term goal of unity. It’s difficult to live against the message we receive from so many, telling us that if our spouse isn’t living up to our expectations, than there is someone out there who will. At A Wife Like Me, we are working to spread the message to married couples that a beautiful, strong, thriving marriage is possible.

What's the one thing you do every day to protect your marriage?

Die to myself. I go to God and give Him all of me - my preferences, my selfishness, and my need to be right. For me, I know that my only hope in loving my husband and creating the marriage we both want is if I get out of the way and step into all that God has for me.

Why do you think God created marriage?

It is fascinating to see that God had created the whole earth - the light, seas, land, stars, plants, and creatures - and saw that these were all good. However, God then creates man, and for the first time, there is a problem. God brings every living creature to man to see if any creature would be an acceptable partner, and finds none. So then, God creates woman. It is this beautiful union that God purposefully designed to not only reflect His glory but also gift to us to enjoy. It is within the union of marriage that we practice the daily walk with God to reflect more of Him within the union of marriage, but also to truly savor and enjoy the gift of each other in marriage.

What was your heart behind writing Dear Wife?

Knowing how busy we are and how disconnected we feel to our husbands, we wrote Dear Wife to bring wives back to what holds marriages together - Christ. Then through regaining connection with Christ, wives are then sourced to build connection with their husbands. In practical and helpful applications we build each chapter for wives living in the everyday trenches so they can read and be immediately challenged to experience a transformed heart and marriage.

What can the reader expect by reading the book?

They can expect an honest inside look into other wives’ struggles, while also gaining wisdom for how to connect with their husband. They can also expect what other wives are already experiencing. Take their word for it!

“This book is changing my life. I feel like it needs to be shared with all women.” - Kaitlan Brady

“Exactly what I needed at this time in our marriage.” -Christi Wilson

“This book will save marriages.” - Lisa Hollingsworth

Amanda Davison is the wife to a Minnesota farmer, mother of three, and President of the nonprofit, A Wife Like Me. She is an author and speaker, and serves on staff at her local church, where her and her husband lead the marriage mentor team. Amanda is relentlessly sharing how her education in counseling and God’s word changed her life and marriage. You can be a part of the growing community of wives on Facebook or Instagram, and can find many helpful resources for your marriage at A Wife Like Me.

Melissa Clark