The Lies We Believe: How False Narratives Sabotage Confidence and Safety

Hi friend,

Welcome to Part 3 of our Confidence Series! Today, we’re confronting one of the biggest roadblocks to true confidence: the lies we believe about ourselves.

If you’ve ever found yourself hustling for approval or shrinking back from your full self, you’re not alone. These patterns often stem from lies we’ve believed—not because we’re weak, but because we’ve been trying to stay safe.

These lies aren’t always loud or obvious. Often, they’re quiet whispers that have taken root over time—shaped by past experiences, criticism, or cultural expectations. But whether loud or quiet, these false beliefs carry weight. Each one sends a powerful signal to your nervous system: “You’re not safe.”

And when your nervous system doesn’t feel safe, confidence can’t thrive.

1. Recognizing the Lies

Start by tuning in to the familiar inner messages that keep you small or stuck. Some common culprits:

  • “I’m not good enough.”

  • “I have to be perfect to be accepted.”

  • “If I mess up, I’ll lose everything.”

  • “Other people can handle life better than I can.”

  • “I’m too much… or not enough.”

Each of these thoughts triggers your stress response—activating fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—and pulls you further away from your natural, grounded confidence.

2. Why It Matters

When we internalize these lies, we live from a place of fear, shame, and hypervigilance. We try to earn our worth by hustling, people-pleasing, or staying small.

But here’s the good news: these beliefs are learned. Which means they can be unlearned.

By recognizing false narratives and replacing them with truth, you begin to rewire your brain and regulate your nervous system. You create a felt sense of internal safety—and from that place, true confidence can grow.

3. Your Action Step for Today

Choose one lie that shows up most often for you.

📝 When it surfaces:

  • Pause and write it down.

  • Counter it with truth (e.g., “I’m not good enough” → “I am enough because my worth is anchored in who God is—not in my performance or perfection.”)

  • Regulate your body by taking two deep, grounding breaths (5 seconds in, 5 seconds out).

It may feel small—but this simple rhythm of pause, reframe, and breathe is a powerful way to break old patterns and build a steady foundation of self-trust.

👉 Each repetition tells your brain and body: “This is the new truth. This is safe.” Over time, that truth becomes more believable—not just in your mind, but in your body.

P.S. Use your Confidence Reset Workbook to track your progress.

  • Map out the top lies you notice throughout the week

  • Journal your truth statements

  • Observe how your body responds as you reframe

  • Practice breathing resets

  • Meditate on truth through scripture-based reflection

Melissa Clark