Is this killing your relationship?

The Power of Your Words

Judgment, a harsh tone, criticism, sarcasm, name-calling, and derogatory language. These are some common pitfalls of communication. In times of conflict, you may find yourself cursing, name-calling, or blaming your partner. You may be trying to gain power in the conflict, asserting yourself in order to be heard, or attacking because you feel attacked. 

Scripture tells us that our words have the power to bring life or death. The words you speak not only influence the health of your marriage but also your physical health. Speaking words of death (this is what criticism, judgment, name-calling, etc. are) can impact your body through headaches, difficulty sleeping, and stomachaches. 

God designed our bodies to operate best when powered by truth and love. To operate under this design, we need to connect with Him and be honest about our communication pitfalls. 

Strengthening  exercise: 

• Assume responsibility. You alone are responsible for the words you speak. Prayerfully consider the words you are speaking to your spouse. Ask God to help you to control your tongue. 

• Begin practicing speaking words of kindness to your spouse. Ask God to show you how your spouse is made in His image. Ask Him to help you treat your spouse from this perspective.  

• Ask for forgiveness both from God and your spouse for the harmful and hurtful words you’ve spoken.

• Commit not to cursing or using derogatory names when talking with your spouse. 

• In times of conflict, take a deep breath before you speak. Take a moment and ask yourself if what you are about to say is building up your spouse or tearing them down. Practice a gentle start-up. 

Scriptures to consider: 

• “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

• “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21 (NLT) 

• “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

• “If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” James 1:26 (NLT)

If you would like additional resources to help protect your marriage, check datenightsuccess.com

*This is intended for married couples in an emotionally, physically, and spiritually safe relationship. If you are in an unsafe or abusive relationship, please seek professional help.